She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
