so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize