i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
