Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
