THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
