She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
