Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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