Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
