Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i now understand why vodka
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
