No, you can still breathe under the balls.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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