I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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