So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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