i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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