Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
