you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Buhtt sex?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
