but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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