We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
