Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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