we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
