wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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