Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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