Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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