I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
