Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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