Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I have post one night stand depression
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
