i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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