I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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