Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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