she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
