Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
