bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
