I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
