Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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