so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
