My liver just broke up with me...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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