Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Randomize
