Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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