Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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