Do vagina's smell?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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