dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
