this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i was born a porn star she said
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize