And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
