she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
