The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
