I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Found the puke drawer
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
