omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
