You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize