I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I love having hate sex.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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