I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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