we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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