Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
