The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
