sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
