M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So vagazzling was a success
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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