I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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