YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize