This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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