my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
