My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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