i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize