Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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