Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
