And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
