I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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