okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
