JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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