so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
