just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
