just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
