Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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