There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
