Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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