He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
A bitchslap is in order.
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