he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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