Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
sex in a hospital.. check
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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