In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Can you bring me the toilet please
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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