Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
