I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
