The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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