ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
